Rushing through Bangkok traffic on weekday morning, trying to get to the university make me feel exhuasted and thisty. I decided to sit at the cafeteria for a while and have some rice and sweet herbal fruit juice. In this crawed area, I chose one table where there was no one and enjoyed my time. After a few minutes later, a middle age lady with a professor look alike came to sit on the same table just right in front of my eyes. With no intention to be rude - I moved myself to the space on the right side; tried to get myself some pivacy. Unfortunately, she get very angry at me, moved herself to another table and insulted me as a selfish person who want to own the whole table.
Just the day before this happenings. I had been with my Farang friend and read the beginning of his Lonely Planet about Thai culture. There were many things I've never thought of but they are so true. And the topic that really caught my attention was " Lossing Face " which is very useful now to explain why the lady got very angry at me. She felt lossing her face from how I responded to her like she was nothing worth to be respected. So her reaction was to make me lossing my face by insulted my loudly in front of people.
I think it is very interesting how lossing face is being such a big issue in this nation while others are not much in to this. It is existing but no one (except Farong) really think about it. It is in all Thais unconciousness. Because Thai social is collective society. People expect each others to behave follow the norm. Everyone fell like they are observed by somebody else all the time. So to make mistake - means can be disrespected by somebody else as well. <------- need critical --- I want to say Thai people like to mess with others business and they like to gossip so to make mistake mean can be embarassed (even if there no one else but we kinda feel pararoid and quite get use to feel ashame at ourselves and i think that's what it's mean by lossing face.----**
There're no absolute formula of how to avoid making people loss their faces. But I have some suggestion which might be helpful. First, acting like you don't mean to be mean (eventhough you do) for example what I could do with my situation is; pretending to read my book and slide myself on the side to find some light. This could prevent myself from confrontation. Second, speaking out of the story; this is very useful when some Thai ask you what you don't want to answer and don't want to break his/her heart by saying "That's not your business."Which is considered to be very rude in Thai culture). And the last which I think it could be very useful; smile, smile and smile then tell them in the nice way and not be too direct. And if the Thais still seem to be embarassed. you say "Ya Kit Mak" - do not worry or do not think too much then talk about something else. They will be okay.
Eventhough "Lossing Face" sometimes seems to be uncomprehendable and non sense - don't leave it to be the thick well for your friendship with the Thais. Take your time and be open minded; there are still so many beautiful things in Thai culture that you will find yourself at ease and you might love it.
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I think i'm quite scraw up with singular and pural cos' in Thai we don't have that
I hate this --- I've never written any proper essay in Thai at all cos' when I study in Thai schools they graded me by mutiple choice and short answer examinations. I just started my writing in the school in the state and in international Uni that i went (and kick myself out.)
HOLY CATS !!!!
FEEL SO RETRADED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.s. I hate my conclusion
ESSAY KICK ASS !!
edit @ 20 Aug 2008 23:15:34 by บัน
edit @ 20 Aug 2008 23:18:59 by บัน
edit @ 20 Aug 2008 23:20:44 by บัน
edit @ 20 Aug 2008 23:38:23 by บัน